“To pass from sadness to joy requires a birth, a moment of travail and labor, for no one ever mounts to a higher level of life without death to the lower.” - Ven. Fulton J. Sheen
It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing… such a little thing. - Boromir, JRR Tolkien
The mass was 7.5 centimeters, and now being analyzed in pathology labs at Ochsner's Hospital and the MAYO clinic. I attended the Christmas mass in Covington, Louisiana at the Discalced Carmelite nuns' chapel. I am on their prayer list and wanted to be in celebration of our Lord's birth with them. I pray for them and their mission, and I am grateful for their prayers. I am recovering slowly but happy to be moving around. It is a very different Christmas this year. My sister, a nurse, was there to oversee my constant questions and concerns over my healing of my incision. She suggested that since I have time on my hands that I need to find something to work on. So my wife and mother went to the store to buy painting supplies. Art therapy is what we called it. I am enjoying my new location because my sister and husband have a large back porch that overlooks a pond which became my sanctuary and an art studio. Every morning I would wobble from my new bedroom and have coffee looking at the water. I watched and meditated on God's creation and the grace that was given to me to be able to share in the beauty of His creation. I grew closer to Him in the wonder of the sounds of birds and nature. I was so grateful to be alive. I did not know the future but at this moment all was calm and quiet. I was at peace.
I choose a picture of a cypress tree in a swamp which was in the darkness just before dawn was breaking. I felt it represented my current situation. Painting nature scenes is the only thing that I paint well. So my choices were limited. I was in darkness of the night, and was waiting for the dawn. I completed the first step in this cancer journey and celebrating Christmas season in a very special way, but I still was in a twilight of not knowing. I finished my painting of the dawn, and really failed at another attempt in another painting. I was not sure if it was prophetic but the only decent painting was the one of the swamp just before dawn. So, I put painting with acrylics on hold. Andrew's thirteenth birthday party was at a restaurant in Covington which was not what was planned. Many people were making sacrifices for my recovery. My sweet and loving wife was making connections on social media to update my Lafayette community. Many blessings from phone calls, texts, prayers, masses offered, and meals have been offered for myself and more importantly my wife and children. The love outpouring from the St. Pius X community is humbling, and the quilt from the Quilt Ministry gave me a tangible object to hold and cover myself with the prayers and love from a community which I so desperately missed.
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers. - Romans 12:9-13
The Word was with God and the Word was God. This was becoming so much more apparent in my life. I so took my faith for granted. My eyes have been open. I have for so long been in a lukewarm haze. The Holy Spirit sent a small kindling of a flame in my soul. Renew my faith, renew my prayer life, renew my hope, renew my desire for You, Christ. Let me never be apart from You. May I be your voice, hands, and feet to the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment